After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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