Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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