she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
