I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
only you would photoshop your dick
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
