We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
