i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
