You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
