i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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