Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
