well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
