so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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