Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
