who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
