I think I am morally bankrupt
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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