i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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