her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it penis luge time yet?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
