she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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