***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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