Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
