I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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