I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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