I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My dick has a subreddit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
