We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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