Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
