Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
