She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
