bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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