I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
