You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
