i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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