it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
