It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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