Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
