help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
