i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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