Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
