Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
