I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
