i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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