After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
