Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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