Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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