But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
