I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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