P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
