walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
