You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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