i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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