just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
