his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
