As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
