I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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